forgiveness.

forgiveness is a non-tangible thing. which means it cannot be touched, tasted, smelled, seen, or heard. forgiveness is also a very hard thing to give to someone else, especially when someone has caused hurt to you. we all know the feelings that are associated with forgiveness, whether it be the grace or receiving it, or the power it takes to give it away.

"the last kiss", directed by zach braff, tells the story of a man whose girlfriend of 3 years is pregnant with his child. in his own mind, he convinces himself that he is trapped and that his life holds no more surprises down the road. he meets a young college student and eventually becomes romantically involved with her, following a fight with his girlfriend. the fight occurred because zach's character, michael, lied to his girlfriend, jenna, about where he was that evening.

when she finds out that he has slept with another woman, she tells herself that it's over forever, a reasonable reaction for a woman 3 months pregnant with his daughter. but michael, admitting he does not know how bad she is hurt and what it feels like to be her decides that he is not going to give up. he sits on the porch of the two's apartment for days, through the rain, sleeping on the wooden deck in every imaginable position. neighbors see him and begin to sympathize, and bring him water to drink. slowly, jenna sees his devotion and begins to give a bit. she throws him a blanket, brings him 2 slices of bread, etc. at the end of the movie, jenna lets michael back into their apartment, then the credits roll.

this ending is open-ended, leaving no real resolution to the problem. but it does give hope that just maybe, jenna has forgiven michael for doing the most terrible thing imaginable.

although this is cinema, a realm that is often very far-removed from the real world that we live in, it shows a situation that could not possibly be worse. a man cheating on his gf who if pregnant with his child. this much is clear. he really does not deserve her forgiveness for what he has done, because he has hurt her in a way that he will never really understand. but the beautiful thing is that even though she does not need to forgive him, she may see that even though he made mistakes, he still loved her.

jenna's father, while confronting michael for the first time after he broke the news to jenna, told him, "when you say you love someone it doesn't really matter. what you say to someone only really matters to you. but what you do to the people you love, that's what counts."

this hit me pretty hard. i've always been able to talk my way out of trouble, since i was young. but being in a similar situation in my life, i've learned that the advice given to michael by jenna's father, is nothing short of 110% true. the words spoken by someone who does not have the respect or trust of the other person never have a real chance of making an impact. no matter how many "i'm sorry's" you throw out, it doesn't really make a difference. and through painful experience, i've learned that as well.

our actions, not our words, are the way that we can achieve forgiveness, if it is truly meant to be. only through a caring, compassionate and loving heart can an act such as that be truly forgiven.

"don't ever give up, because that's the only way you will ever fail."